Recently I have been philosophizing about my life so far, because I feel I have come to the end of a period. And if you are at the end of a period, this means that a new period will begin. A lot has happened in my turbulent life, good and bad things. Things could have been different, but as everything went, it shaped me in the human and man that I am today. Although I still do not really have an idea, why I am here and what I am doing here I know it is good be there. There have been many lovely people in my life, but also people I would rather not have met. Then I would have been a different person and I do not want that either. I am satisfied and proud of the person I am today, although there is always room for improvement, but work is being done there.
I wondered what I would like in this life, the answer was to play. If you do not know my history and me then this may sound a little strange, but it is not so strange to me. Due to the death of my mother and the disappearance of my father, I had to grow up very early "at the age of six." And because my childhood was very hard, I did not really have time to play, I had to survive. After my last period of wandering, survival also ended. For the past eight years, I have been mainly busy with rubble clearing. Releasing all old pains, things that no longer serve me and kept me small. I have tried many times in this life to commit suicide because the burden I had to bear was too heavy and I saw no way out. And although I still have a deep longing for home, for Andromeda, I am also happy and grateful that I am still alive.
I am a creative person by nature; in my head, I constructed as a child everything from closets to entire buildings. I love architecture. When I walk through old cities, I often look at the facades of the buildings that stand there. I can enjoy all the different shapes and hues of the materials that they have used. Maybe I should have become an architect or a lawyer since I also have a passion for the law. And maybe I would have all of that if I had not had to survive. Then I had now been a different person than I am now.
Early in my life, I noticed that you could not trust mature people. Either they die or they leave you. And because I knew from my primordial knowledge that religion is also all nonsense, I focus my gaze on something bigger and all encompassing, the Universe. From the inside, I knew that I could trust the universe. That did not play games, did not punish me if something went wrong, but supported me when needed. The universe left me free to live life as it unfolded. I never make plans; I see what the universe lays on my path and then work with it. One day that is easier than the other, it also has to do with my mood, the energies of that day, whether I have slept well and the amount of pain in my body I have to deal with that day.
Anyway, the end of a period and the start of a new one. We live in a very special time in which we move from the Pisces era to the Aquarius era. A lot of changes are taking place, changes that hurt a lot. People simply have trouble changing and prefer to keep everything the same. They like continuity. Nevertheless, life is different, life is about evolving. Evolve into a higher consciousness. We can achieve this by not delimiting everything, by having an open mind and not rejecting or ridiculing things that we do not understand. I hope to be able to play more in this new period. Playing with sand, water, leaves, wood, stones and who knows with the body of a woman. Sometimes I long for that, to have another woman next to me. Someone with whom I can chat about spirituality, astrology, astronomy, the universe, about love, music, poetry, art, architecture, cabaret, sex and our climate and the changes it is going through. Someone who, just like me, loves nature and loves to stroll through it regardless of the weather. I trust the universe and see what comes my way. For now, I thank all the lovely people who are or were in my life and the universe.
Peter Barkum © ® 01-09-2019
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