On March 22, I will be another year older. When I look back, you sometimes wonder how I did it all? I mean, I have experienced an incredible amount in my life. A lot of bad things that I know many people would end their lives for. And yes, I have made many attempts in the past to take my own life, but for one reason or another I was saved or something went wrong and the attempt also ended in failure.
My childhood years were terrible. I lived in children's homes after my father's second wife had judged that I did not fit into the picture of a happy family. I was rebellious, curious, always followed my own intuition and laughed at my father and his second wife when I was punished for things that I often had not even done. No, I was not a saint, as I already wrote I was rebellious, but that was often also out of anger that my father had abandoned my mother. My mother passed away in 1972 and no one told me what death meant. That didn't happen until I was 8 years old.
So I was excluded by my father and his second wife and ended up with my mother's family. Good people in principle, but they had no empathy at all. I think they have caused the greatest damage in my life, something that I have worked hard to process and come to terms with for years. It taught me a lot about people. That's why I'm still very careful about just letting people into my life. You really have to be very special if I want to consider you my boyfriend or girlfriend.
Anyway, after psychological and physical abuse, drug addiction, being homeless, wandering, getting divorced and also losing your children in that divorce, there comes a time when you have the opportunity to work on yourself. To be able to heal old wounds and find yourself completely in a place where you originally come from, nature. I have a number of sweet soul sisters who I love dearly and are also my best girlfriends.
They have done and meant a lot to me. They still do, by the way, but in mother nature I have completely found myself again. One of those soul sisters also experienced that live last year when we were walking in the woods of Doorwerth. That was such a magical experience for both of us. I felt mother nature completely and my totem animal the Hawk flew above us. It was as if we were standing outside of time for a moment.
What I want to say with this piece is, no matter how fucking bad your life may be, don't give up, ask the Universe/God or whatever you believe in for help. Be open to that help. Always listen to your intuition and not to the media or people who claim to have your best interests at heart. Usually that means that they have their own interests in mind and you are just a cog in that. Follow your intuition, be critical, don't just take everything for granted, think for yourself and do research first. If you listen carefully to your intuition, you will quickly find out who is good and who is bad for you. You can then filter out your real friends. Oh, and also important, don't let others walk all over you, you are not a doormat. Do not enter into conflict, if there is a threat, withdraw for a moment and calmly look at the matter carefully from all sides before drawing conclusions.
Peter68 © ® 03/21/2025
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