Another year older

 

On March 22, I will be another year older. When I look back, you sometimes wonder how I did it all? I mean, I have experienced an incredible amount in my life. A lot of bad things that I know many people would end their lives for. And yes, I have made many attempts in the past to take my own life, but for one reason or another I was saved or something went wrong and the attempt also ended in failure.

My childhood years were terrible. I lived in children's homes after my father's second wife had judged that I did not fit into the picture of a happy family. I was rebellious, curious, always followed my own intuition and laughed at my father and his second wife when I was punished for things that I often had not even done. No, I was not a saint, as I already wrote I was rebellious, but that was often also out of anger that my father had abandoned my mother. My mother passed away in 1972 and no one told me what death meant. That didn't happen until I was 8 years old.

So I was excluded by my father and his second wife and ended up with my mother's family. Good people in principle, but they had no empathy at all. I think they have caused the greatest damage in my life, something that I have worked hard to process and come to terms with for years. It taught me a lot about people. That's why I'm still very careful about just letting people into my life. You really have to be very special if I want to consider you my boyfriend or girlfriend.

Anyway, after psychological and physical abuse, drug addiction, being homeless, wandering, getting divorced and also losing your children in that divorce, there comes a time when you have the opportunity to work on yourself. To be able to heal old wounds and find yourself completely in a place where you originally come from, nature. I have a number of sweet soul sisters who I love dearly and are also my best girlfriends.

They have done and meant a lot to me. They still do, by the way, but in mother nature I have completely found myself again. One of those soul sisters also experienced that live last year when we were walking in the woods of Doorwerth. That was such a magical experience for both of us. I felt mother nature completely and my totem animal the Hawk flew above us. It was as if we were standing outside of time for a moment.

What I want to say with this piece is, no matter how fucking bad your life may be, don't give up, ask the Universe/God or whatever you believe in for help. Be open to that help. Always listen to your intuition and not to the media or people who claim to have your best interests at heart. Usually that means that they have their own interests in mind and you are just a cog in that. Follow your intuition, be critical, don't just take everything for granted, think for yourself and do research first. If you listen carefully to your intuition, you will quickly find out who is good and who is bad for you. You can then filter out your real friends. Oh, and also important, don't let others walk all over you, you are not a doormat. Do not enter into conflict, if there is a threat, withdraw for a moment and calmly look at the matter carefully from all sides before drawing conclusions.

Peter68 © ® 03/21/2025
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World family

With the following I write I do not want to offend anyone, it is just my view of the world. So it is not about people/persons but about countries and their governments.

There are officially 195 UN recognised countries in the world and 40 unrecognised countries. These countries are often dependent on their "former" colonial owner. Think for example of Greenland (Denmark) and Gibraltar (UK). You rarely or never hear anything about most countries in the news, which is not to say that everything is going well there. Every country has its problems, but they are not all suitable to become world news.

The countries we hear about the most are America, Israel, Russia, Ukraine, Palestine, China, India, Taiwan, Iraq, Iran, Sudan, Yemen, South Africa, Cuba, Canada, Brazil, Mexico, Hungary, Poland, Romania, Kenya and Sweden. So things happen there that make world news. Usually it concerns a drastic plan of the government there, war, arms trade, import duties, stock market news, mass murders, rapes, oppression of population groups or the entire population, drug trade or natural disasters.

I am not an active follower of the news. I do not watch TV, do not read newspapers, do not listen to the radio, I do not have a smartphone and I do not follow news sites on the internet. I have nothing to do with those lying mainstream media that lies to people and tries to manipulate them. Yet certain headlines manage to reach me via Twitter, the only platform where I am active. Facebook has blocked me because I spoke the truth, am not allowed to post alternative news, they thought I made money with the links I shared "like from this blog" and that is not allowed in this sick world. I do not make money with websites. I know it is possible, but I am simply not interested in that. Then you also have to allow advertisements and I do not want that. I do not like advertisements, they are all lies and manipulation.

What I often wonder is why certain countries behave the way they do? America behaves like a spoiled child, Russia behaves like a big bully, Israel behaves like an autistic person who always gets his way because he is autistic, many Muslim countries are quick to worry when others say something and then we haven't even talked about the victim behaviour that many countries display. Something that my own country the Netherlands is also good at. The Calimero behaviour, they are big and I am small, that is not fair.

It often saddens me when I see how countries, governments and certain people treat each other. I often wonder why they do it that way? Is it in the interest of the country you represent? Does it make you better yourself or are you just like that? I am someone who likes to help others if I can. As a child I once had the idea that if all rich countries adopt one or two poor countries for say five to ten years then hunger and poverty can be eradicated from the world within 25 years. We are on this earth to help each other get through life, not to kill and vilify each other. Unfortunately, most countries/governments do not understand that or have a dark agenda that is not in the interest of their citizens.

Peter68 © ® 03/17/2025
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Geloof - religie / Faith - religion

(Scroll down for English)

Regelmatig denk ik na over geloof en religie. Ik heb vroeger alle grote religies (Christelijk, Joods, Moslim, en boeddhisme) meerdere keren uitvoering bestudeerd en er staan soms waardevolle dingen in die boeken, maar ook veel dingen waar ik het absoluut niet mee eens kan zijn. Om er twee te noemen, we zijn allemaal zondaars en vrouwen zijn minder dan mannen. Die laatste stuit mij vooral tegen de borst, het gaat in tegen alles waar ik altijd voor heb gestaan, de gelijkheid van mannen en vrouwen.

Als we naar de Bijbel kijken dan staan daar dingen in waarvan ik denk dat de schrijvers erin hebben gezet om mensen klein en angstig te houden. Vooral het oude testament staat er vol mee. Persoonlijk geloof ik dat de mensheid tot meer in staat is dan men tot nu toe heeft laten zien. Maar als religie en onze huidige maatschappij mensen klein en angstig houd en mensen alleen maar bezig zijn met entertainment en uiterlijk vertoon, dan zullen mensen nooit hun volledige potentieel kunnen bereiken. Dan zijn we niet meer dan gehoorzame slaven van de gevestigde orde.

Dat laatste stemt mij dan weer verdrietig. Ik wil de mensheid zo graag helpen om hun hogere doelen te bereiken zodat we kunnen evolueren uit het riool waarin wij nu leven. Riool ja, als je goed om je heen kijkt dan stinkt onze maatschappij van alle kanten. Corruptie, dood en verderf tieren welig en op een enkeling na doet niemand wat. Vele kijken uit naar een hogere macht die voor hen alles beter gaat maken, maar dan heb je het niet begrepen. Als wij verandering willen, dat het leven van iedereen beter gaat worden, dan zullen we zelf de handen uit de mouwen moeten gaan steken. Niemand komt ons redden, dat zullen wij zelf moeten doen.

Dus blijf niet langer met de armen over elkaar zitten of met die vervloekte telefoon in je handen. Kijk wat er nodig is om jouw leven beter te maken en het leven van je buren, familie en vrienden ga aan de slag. In het verleden had ik wel eens discussies met mensen die zeiden dat ze niets hoefde te doen, Jezus zou ze komen redden. Sorry hoor, maar denk je nu werkelijk dat Jezus of God zich druk maken om iemand die geen vinger heeft uitgestoken om het kwaad in deze wereld te beteugelen? Die niets geeft om hoe het met zijn buren gaat, zijn familie en vrienden.

En wat als Jezus ze straks niet komt redden, als ze achter blijven na de opname. Gaan ze dan juichen voor de Antichrists en alles wat hij doet en zegt toedekken met de mantel der liefde? Ik ben niet gelovig al kom ik uit een Katholiek nest. Ik was een straf voor mijn vroegere Pastoor. Alles wat hij op school tijdens Godsdienstles zei, trok ik in twijfel. Daarom mocht ik op een gegeven moment ook niet meer komen. Ik was een storend element tijdens Godsdienstles omdat mijn mede klasgenoten moesten lachen om wat ik zei.

Ik geloof overigens wel in een hogere macht, maar noem die zeker geen God. Voor mij is de benaming God besmet. Hoeveel oorlogen, vervolgingen en ander geweld zijn er niet gedaan in de naam van God?  Gedaan door mensen die dachten te weten wat God van ons zou willen of verwachten. Als we even terug gaan naar de persoon Jezus, hij zei dat we moesten leven in liefde en harmonie met onze naasten. Kijk nu eens de wereld in, gebeurd dat? De meeste mensen gunnen elkaar niets eens het licht in de ogen en regeringen en bedrijven en banken zijn corrupt en denken alleen maar aan geld en macht.

Ik noem de hogere macht waarin ik geloof het Universum. Een andere hogere macht waarin ik geloof is Moeder Natuur. Het Universum is mijn vader en Moeder Natuur is mijn moeder. Beiden zorgen ervoor dat ik krijg wat ik echt nodig heb om te kunnen leven, "dus niet wat mijn hartje begeerd" de rest is aan mij zelf. Er zijn ook Universele en Natuur wetten. Als ik die schend bouw ik karma op en dat karma moet ik dan weer zien uit te werken en ongedaan zien te maken. Ik probeer dus om me aan die wetten te houden zodat ik geen karma opbouw. Mijn doel in dit leven is om verder te evolueren zodat ik niet meer terug hoef te komen in deze gestoorde corrupte wereld.

Christelijke en Islamitische mensen geloven dat je na je dood of in de Hemel of in de Hel terecht gaat komen. In het Joodse geloof is er geen Hemel of Hel. Persoonlijk geloof ik niet in Hemel en Hel. Vooral die laatste niet omdat ik het leven op deze planeet al een hel vind met al dat gedoe en onzekerheden die het leven in zich heeft. Al doende leren we wel, maar er zijn en blijven toch nog veel onzekerheden zoals bijvoorbeeld nu oorlog of vrede. Ik geloof in sferen. Als je sterft ga je naar een bepaalde sfeer waar wordt gekeken wat je hebt geleerd tijdens je verblijf op aarde en hoe je je hebt verhouden jegens je mede mens en de natuur.

Peter68 © ® 16-03-2025
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Faith - religion

I regularly think about faith and religion. I have studied all the major religions (Christian, Jewish, Muslim, and Buddhism) several times in detail and there are sometimes valuable things in those books, but also many things that I absolutely cannot agree with. To name two, we are all sinners and women are less than men. The latter is especially offensive to me, it goes against everything I have always stood for, the equality of men and women.

If we look at the Bible, there are things in it that I think the writers put in to keep people small and fearful. The Old Testament in particular is full of it. Personally, I believe that humanity is capable of more than has been shown so far. But if religion and our current society keep people small and fearful and people are only concerned with entertainment and outward show, then people will never be able to reach their full potential. Then we are nothing more than obedient slaves of the established order.

That last part makes me sad. I want to help humanity so much to achieve their higher goals so that we can evolve out of the sewer we are living in now. Sewer yes, if you look around you, our society stinks from all sides. Corruption, death and destruction are rampant and with the exception of a few, no one does anything. Many look forward to a higher power that will make everything better for them, but then you have not understood. If we want change, that everyone's life will become better, then we will have to roll up our sleeves ourselves. No one is going to save us, we will have to do that ourselves.

So don't sit around with your arms crossed or with that damned phone in your hands any longer. See what is needed to make your life better and the lives of your neighbours, family and friends, get to work. In the past I have had discussions with people who said that they did not have to do anything, Jesus would come and save them. Sorry, but do you really think that Jesus or God care about someone who has not lifted a finger to curb the evil in this world? Who doesn't care about how his neighbours, family and friends are doing.

And what if Jesus doesn't come to save them later, if they stay behind after the rapture. Will they cheer for the antichrist and cover everything he does and says with the cloak of love? I am not religious, even though I come from a Catholic background. I was a punishment for my former pastor. I questioned everything he said during religious education at school. That's why I was not allowed to come at some point. I was a disruptive element during religious education because my fellow classmates had to laugh at what I said.

By the way, I do believe in a higher power, but I certainly don't call it God. For me, the name God is tainted. How many wars, persecutions and other violence have not been committed in the name of God? Done by people who thought they knew what God would want or expect from us. If we go back to the person Jesus, he said that we had to live in love and harmony with our neighbours. Now look at the world, does that happen? Most people do not wish each other any light in their eyes and governments, banks and businessmen are corrupt and only think about money and power.

I call the higher power I believe in the Universe. Another higher power I believe in is Mother Nature. The Universe is my father and Mother Nature is my mother. Both make sure that I get what I really need to live, "so not what my heart desires" the rest is up to me. There are also Universal laws and Natural laws. If I violate them I build up karma and I have to work out that karma and undo it. So I try to keep to those laws so that I do not build up karma. My goal in this life is to evolve further so that I do not have to come back to this crazy corrupt world.

Christian and Islamic people believe that after you die you will either end up in Heaven or Hell. In the Jewish faith there is no Heaven or Hell. Personally I do not believe in Heaven and Hell. Especially not the latter because I already find life on this planet a hell with all the fuss and uncertainties that life has in it. We learn by doing, but there are and remain many uncertainties such as war or peace now. I believe in spheres. When you die you go to a certain sphere where they look at what you have learned during your stay on earth and how you have related to your fellow human beings and nature.

Peter68 © ® 03/16/2025
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Lente / Spring

It took a long time. I went through many valleys last fall and winter, but finally there is some light at the end of the tunnel, Spring. It may sound strange to some, but I run on solar energy. Without sunlight, life has no meaning for me, just like life has no meaning without music.

Spring is my favourite season of the year, although I don't mind the summer heat either. But Spring has an extra dimension for me, new life. Young leaves on the trees, flowers and the birds that start looking for a partner and building nests in January.

My heart always lights up completely when the first signs of Spring appear. Then I know that it can't be long before the sun starts shining again, the flowers start blooming and most importantly, the temperature rises again. If there is one thing I don't like, it is cold, snow and ice. Even in the summer I don't eat ice cream because I don't like the cold.

Yes, call me a weirdo or a freak, I don't care, I am who I am and that is 100% real. But now that spring is coming I can start gardening again, dig through mother earth with my bare hands, sow new life for the bees and butterflies that visit my garden every year. The butterflies that always dance beautifully around my butterfly tree and the bees that fly from flower to flower to collect pollen that they turn into honey.

And I, I sit on my chair in the sun enjoying all this beauty. My heart cheers and is open. And every now and then a butterfly or a bee comes to sit on my leg to rest for a while, something that brings me even more joy. No, I don't need expensive, flashy things, nature gives me everything I need.

Peter68 © ® 03/02/2025
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