Moeilijk - Difficult

 

People who know me well know that autumn, but especially winter, are not my best period. Cold and a lack of sunlight make my life difficult then. I have to do my utmost not to drown in all the misery that goes through me. December, January and February are my least favourite months of the year.

As I said, cold and a lack of sunlight play tricks on me then, my mood sometimes drops far below freezing point. There are all kinds of remedies such as Evening Primrose pills and a daylight lamp, but they don't work well for me. Yes, I am a strange bird, everything works a little differently for me than for normal people. I don't know why that is, but it is so.

In the past, I suffered incredibly badly from my horror childhood memories. I have now processed all of them and they no longer bother me. Yet there are still things that bother me, that I can't really put into words and therefore can't do much with. They are feelings and emotions. You can say, hide them away, sweep them under the rug, but that's not how I am.

I want to work with those feelings and emotions so that I can get to know them better. It may sound strange, but I am strange. 🤪 By getting to know those feelings and emotions, I also get to know myself better. I learn why something affects or triggers me. To put it briefly, I want to go to the unfathomable depths of myself. If I get to know myself better, I am also better able to empathize with other people's feelings.

So, just like every other person, I am a work in progress. I don't know exactly what that work will bring me, but that is not really important. What I do find important is that I can perhaps evolve further because of it. Evolving is a big thing/goal for me. Not only for the sake of evolving itself, but I refuse to have to reincarnate on this planet again.

I love Mother Earth, she is a beautiful and sexy planet. But I find the games that are played here with people and souls downright barbaric. No, I'm not going to tell you all that's wrong in this world, if you can think a little you can figure it out for yourself. All that injustice hurts me and makes me sad. For example, I read today that a bunch of fraudulent bank employees are not being prosecuted by the justice system. But the customers of those banks can pay the bill. It's all so unfair.

Peter68 © ® 12/18/2024
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